We are often harsh with ourselves and overly criticize ourselves for things. We find faults in ourselves, set lofty expectations, and when we fail to meet them, we criticize ourselves even more. When we criticize ourselves even with one word, the energy we create in our mind is one of criticism. When we have an air of criticism around us, our values will be one of finding faults with others. We end up radiating this energy to others and perpetually find faults in them. We form opinions and criticize people. We say intolerance has become very high (not that tolerance has become low). This is when we find our power to tolerate others over trivial matters has disappeared.
We might get irritated easily because others are saying and/or doing things we don’t like, but we seldom think about things that others don’t like about us. We say things like we can tolerate x in others, but we cannot tolerate y in them. But does it work that way? Is it possible to accept something in a person while not accepting something else?
The other thing we might find ourself saying is, “I have no problem with others” when we have a problem with ourselves, which is contradictory. When we have a problem with ourselves, we inevitably project these problems to others. We are unable to radiate pure vibrations to others in this state.
When there is pain in the mind, we cannot radiate unconditional love to others because our energy field has pain in it. Never mind that that pain is created by us over our own mistakes, because whatever gets created in the mind is what gets projected on others.
Tolerance means to passively avoid having a single wrong thought about others’ values or behaviors. For example, if tolerance is on your mind and you catch a negative thought about a person, then you have to spend energy to correct the thought. This requires a lot of energy for your mind, which depletes soul power. If you are feeling you have to tolerate, then that is not tolerance. It means a lot of other emotions are already created, and that isn’t tolerance.
Tolerance in this context does not carry a negative connotation. It isn’t practicing putting up with something. It means we don’t find anything wrong in others. We seek to understand others, and, in the process, we transform them not by trying to change them, but elevating ourselves to a higher realm and inspiring others in the process. There is no effort required to tolerate when the level of acceptance is high.
A mother is a perfect example of someone who embodies tolerance. She has nothing but unconditional love for her children. It means she does not feel her child is wrong at all. She never feels bad about anything in the child. She never apologizes for them to others. Because she is able to tolerate, she is able to transform her child. Sean Penn’s character in the film, I Am Sam comes to mind as a father who perfectly practices tolerance with his young daughter.
We need to first focus on the relationship we have with ourselves. We need to practice tolerance with ourselves before we can practice it with others. We need to be kind and loving to ourselves. It’s only when we accept ourselves for who we are that can we accept others for who they are. At the same time, accepting ourselves the way we are shouldn’t stop us from improving.
We need to acknowledge some of the values we have as being unhealthy. It’s only when we can accept that that we can begin to change. We accept that what we did was our past and we recognize the power we have within to change ourselves in the future. We talk to ourselves with love and kindness, and not with anger or criticism. We learn to forgive ourselves.
We cannot learn to tolerate without letting go, and we cannot let go without detaching ourselves from situations and people. When we have accepted a lot, we don’t even think of it as tolerance. It’s only when we said we tolerated a lot that we didn’t practice tolerance quite from the inside.
We need to stop saying that we tolerate x in others, but not y in them. We need to accept others for who they are.
We need to treat our mind like a child, become its mother, understand it, and tolerate every aspect of it. It’s only when we are a mother to the self that we can be a mother to the world. Only one who can be a mother to the inner world can become a mother to the outer world. We need to be a mother to friends, family, colleagues, and even nature.
Just because we use the word, “mother” doesn’t mean it only applies to women. This is about the soul, never about the body. It’s a value, not just a relationship. It is about the value of being able to nurture, which is present in every soul. We all have this value; we cannot say some have it and others don’t. It is present in everyone. It is about how much each soul invokes that value and uses it practically.
It’s hard to tolerate others when we don’t practice tolerance with ourselves first. When we end up criticizing ourself, we will look to find faults in others as well.
Before creating a relationship with others, and before radiating love and respect to them, tolerance has to begin with ourselves. The energy we create when we talk to ourselves should be pure. We need to love ourselves unconditionally, and only then can we love others that way. It’s only when we love and nurture ourselves that we can love and nurture others, and it’s only when we forgive ourselves that we learn the ability to forgive others.
When we love ourselves unconditionally, we don’t have to do anything to radiate unconditional love and power to others. It’s only a soul who loves itself that can radiate unconditional love, because that soul will never create pain internally.
The power to detach will give us the power to let go, and power to let go means there is nothing negative created in the mind. In this state, tolerance is happening naturally, and such a soul becomes like a mother. We need to be a mother to ourselves. Regardless of gender (or body type), the values of nurturing, caring, and loving are present in every soul.