Sometimes, we want others to make our decisions for us because we are less confident about making them ourselves. Maybe we feel somewhat reassured when others advise us. But when we want others to make decisions for us, it frees us from the responsibility of the consequences. We ask others for advice because our capacity to discern has diminished, making it difficult for us to make such decisions. We say things like we cannot make out what’s right and what’s not, what’s true and what’s false. We don’t trust ourselves enough, but decision-making is important and we need to be able to make our own decisions with confidence.
When others come to us asking for decisions, we are quick to tell them what they should do, but that decision affects their destiny. If we give them the wrong advice, our karma gets entangled with theirs. If our karma becomes an instrument in damaging their destiny, imagine the burden we will carry forward. Not only that, if something unpleasant happens in their life, they will be quick to blame us. This becomes a vicious cycle of a karmic account. We have to be careful that we make our own decisions. We can only advise others, but they have to make decisions based on their discerning capacity. Before we make decisions, we have to discern between right and wrong.
Others will come to us asking for decisions, but we must never make decisions for them. Here’s why.
Suppose we have a value that no matter how others may wrong us, we will remain quiet. That’s our value and capacity, hence it’s our karma and decision. Imagine a person coming to you for advice about how others have done them some wrong and if we tell them in an instant that they should be quiet and not say anything to them, we have essentially decided for them based on our capacity without checking whether they have the capacity to do it themselves. If they accept our words and our decisions while they lack the capacity for doing it, then keeping quiet for them can become suppression for that person, which can in turn affect their mental and physical health. We need to discern for ourselves and then make a decision. Others will come to us asking for help with decisions, but we must never make decisions for them.
We live in an illusion and believe our habits/values and behavior are perfect. Before discerning others, we need to discern ourselves, and when we accurately discern, we will automatically make the right decisions. Because we first discern and adjust our own behavior, we have a choice on what to do, what to think, and what to say in every situation. Another person might have done something, but how do we respond? They have done what they had to do, but now we need to discern for ourselves. They were not right to us, but how should we respond? They raised their voice to us, but how should our karma respond? They cheated us, so how should our karma be now? We need to make a decision about our karma, but before we do that, we need to discern what is right from wrong or true from false. One decision can change our destiny, so every decision has to be accurate.
Before we make a decision, we need to check the consequence and discern the outcome so we never regret our own decisions. We need not concern ourselves with others if/when they disapprove of our decisions because we have made the decision after discerning it correctly.
Once we have made a decision, we stand by it no matter what. Once we have discerned correctly, that decision is right for us even if we are standing alone. You see, it’s possible that despite making a good decision, there will be a few challenges along the way. Once the soul is confident that it was our decision, we are ready to face whatever might come. We will not move away from the truth or from what is right because it was our decision.
The soul has the power to live by its values, ethics, and principles because the soul makes its own decisions. It’s not based on what others are doing, what society is saying, or what the world believes. We make our own decisions and create our own destiny. Before making any decisions, we need to remind ourselves that we are creating our destiny. It is not just a decision, because it will have a consequence.
It’s only the soul that can accurately discern and decide if it’s able to walk the path of truth in life. We stand for what we believe to be right regardless of others believing in us or not. One of the things that happens is peer pressure — just because others are doing it, we feel compelled to do the same, we find it hard to stand out, but the irony is we want to fit in with others and yet stand out, but that never works. We find it hard to challenge the status quo. This is not to say we cut off other people in our life because of it. This isn’t about living in isolation. We need to be with others and walk on our path of truth. Being with others doesn’t mean we get influenced by them. We need to live with everyone, but the decisions should be ours, music should be ours, and truth should be ours.
Whether it is a small decision of how to respond or behave in a scene, or a big decision about our work, relationship, or where to live, or the direction we want to take our life in, we need to discern it and check ourselves if this decision will increase our soul power or decrease it. Any decision which increases soul power is beneficial to us. So we practice we need to take all our decisions, which should be on the path of truth.
There will be decisions in our lives where we will be alone and the whole world will be on the other side. As a soul, we need to follow the beat of our own drum. We make our decisions on our own, not according to the music played by others around us. We choose and play our own music. We write the script of our life on our own. We don’t allow others to influence us because every karma is our decision.
Before we make a decision, we need to discern between the right and wrong. We need to consider the consequence and discern it as well. When we stand strongly by our decision, our soul power increases enormously.
We should never take decisions for others regardless of friends, family, or our children. Sure, we can advise them, but we don’t decide for them because decision has to be according to their capacity. We can advise others if they want, but we never make their decisions for them, else we risk getting entangled with their karmas, the burden of which we will need to carry.